• 

  Food

  Applebee’s Releases O-M-Cheese Burger, Prompting Funeral Home to Extend Business Hours

• 

  Politics

  President Achieves Total Victory Over Wokeness by Not Being Awake During Most Recent Cabinet Meeting

• 

  Politics

  Satan Confirms Karoline Leavitt a “First-Ballot Hall of Famer” for Eternal Damnation

• 

  Travel

  NJ Transit Announces $150 ‘Peasant-Free Zone’ Tickets for FIFA World Cup

• 

  Film

  “Melania” Debuts On Prime As Part Of Amazon’s New “Please Don’t Regulate Us” Collection

• 

  Finance

  Klarna to Introduce New 400 Installment Payment Plan